Children at Wedding

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Your wedding day is the day of days when all eyes are on you, the fairy-tale princess in a white gown. Do you really want some rosy-cheeked cherubs to steal the show?

What we are talking about are those junior members of the wedding, the flower girl and ring bearer.

While children are adorable in a wedding, remember they are notorious scene-stealers at best or balking, screaming terrors at worst.

A flower girl and ring bearer are always fun and add a note of intrigue to the ceremony by keeping guests guessing just what they might do.

What they might do is throw a temper tantrum in the aisle, freeze and refuse to move, take their tight new shoes off at the altar, or scratch in embarrassing places during the ceremony. Are you ready for that?

The custom of having young children in the wedding is centuries-old. British royalty traditionally has only young children as wedding attendants. Remember Diana's wedding to Prince Charles?

Youngsters asked to perform as flower girls and ring bearers should not be less than four years old if you want whimsy, not chaos at the ceremony.

Picture this: a 3-year-old flower girl, who is so enchanted with her new Mary Janes that she starts tap dancing from the altar over to the choir stalls! Or a girl, told to scatter rose petals, dumping the whole basket on the white runner before starting down the aisle.

Tips:

· Don't put the real wedding rings on the ring bearer's pillow. Use the fake ones that usually come with it.

· Children should sit with their parents in a front pew instead of standing at the altar. It's too much to expect them to stand at attention for 20 or 30 minutes.

· If you do allow older children at the reception, a children's refreshment table, with kid-style snacks and drinks, can do wonders to avoid whining and crying.

· Children, either in the wedding party or as guests, will add sentiment and joy to the day as long as you plan ahead for them.